Compelled by love...

It's been over a week since I last wrote and things have picked up pretty quick since the Convergence worship/ministry team came from Texas this last week. Our schedule has been more sporatic so most my downtime in the mornings is resting and getting prepared for our long nights. It's been awesome getting to merge with this team and see God pour out His Spirit through them and through their worship in the streets and bars.

I felt more led to write about what God has been speaking specifically personally. I can share more stories and ways He is moving at large later, but really felt a tenderness in my heart on Saturday and Sunday. Seen a lot and really been moved emotionally and spiritually here in Thailand. God is shifting things in the atmosphere and it's such a crazy good time to be here.

So in that said... I sat on the streets of Soi 6 on Saturday night for a few hours just praying and watching the lady boys and girls in the bars laughing, flirting and getting ready for their long night ahead of them. In being here now almost a month and seeing it everyday, something was different about Saturday night. A defense arrose in my heart for each person I saw. It was like as time went by more, I could feel my heart slowly turning to mush. By the time the worship team showed up to start, I was so overwhelmed with this love sickness that I took the first hour of worship to go upstairs to the third floor in the house of prayer and just flopped on the floor in abandonment before the Lord weeping and crying out. The Lord's faithfulness amazes me. His words of affirmation, and things He was revealing to me about this time and one thing after another I would bring up to Him and He would take it, and then pour back into me His joy and love. Just that time with Him, releasing the burdens and being reminded it's not too big for Him and He has so much more to show me and do in my own heart to give away.

I then walked out onto the balcony overlooking Soi 6 and began to sing and physically look for signs of God moving. His Presence was in the midst of the loud bar music fighting the teams worship music downstairs and the girls screams and laughs. I returned down to the street, and sat next to Jess and some of the kids that started to come to paint. It was the first time they had kids stretched out on the street painting, and to our amazement one little Thai girl probably about 7 was sitting with her mama outside the bar came over to join and stayed most the night late painting picture after picture. My heart broke again with what God was doing. He was bringing children out of the wood works, and in perfect timing. Sarah and Jason had all their kids there, and was able to invite the little girl to their Night Care Center while her mom works. It was so hard to contain tears at the evidence of His hand moving on the street as I just people watched and was overwhelmed by His love!

We left around 1am and woke up early to head to True Friends church where the team was leading worship for mostly Thai/but ran by westerners. I found a window on the side of the building and sat underneath it to just pray and write during worship. And this is where the Lord spoke to me "compelled by love". I began looking at all the Thai Christians and those that were weary and even not fully experiencing His complete joy and love! I began praying for more for myself...how much joy and love was I missing out on? What was God doing that I wasn't getting to enjoy and agree with??

Then I got this image of a desert and felt the Lord began to speak to me about desperation. Here is what I wrote down in the midst of what I felt He was speaking:

"In a dry desert drought. Desperate for water until we get really really thirsty do we go to extremes. We are fools to ignore and pretend we aren't thirsty, when our desperation becomes SO great then we have to SEE. We NEED to SEE. We need to see our desperation for MORE Love. Only Jesus is the Living Water. We need to be honest about our desperation for Love, for affection, for intimacy, for Jesus. I am being drawn to see my dessert, my lack of, and I am desperate to be drenched by His Love, not just partial or dry, but staying filled. We don't have to live on earth poor. Only when I know I am FULLY completely loved can I act as a daughter and walk in confidence, desiring all things He has for me as a good Father....Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven!"

Then heard Ezekiel 37. Reading, I felt verses 1-14, really applied to God's heart and message for America and for me for the Central Coast:

"Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.’”

Verses 15-28 speaking specifically about Thailand.


‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will take the Israelites out of the nations where they have gone. I will gather them from all around and bring them back into their own land I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel. There will be ONE king over all of them and they will never again be two nations or be divided into two kingdoms. They will no longer defile themselves with their idols and vile images or with any of their offenses, for I will save them from all their sinful backsliding, and I will cleanse them. They will be my people, and I will be their God. My servant David will be king over them, and they will all have one shepherd. They will follow my laws and be careful to keep my decrees. They will live in the land I gave to my servant Jacob, the land where your ancestors lived. They and their children and their children’s children will live there forever, and David my servant will be their prince forever. I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant. I will establish them and increase their numbers, and I will put my sanctuary among them forever. My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people. Then the nations will know that I the LORD make Israel holy, when my sanctuary is among them forever.’”

This is all I got so far. There is a lot of meaning I felt within the context of this, but not quite sure how to share it, so will leave you with this. I have one more week here. I leave for Bangkok on Friday to spend a few days hanging out and meeting up with Natasha (who was on the IRIS team and living in Bangkok currently doing language school) and possibly meet up with Janie again. I fly out next Monday and will be back in the Central Coast Tuesday. I am still anticipating great things in the next few days as we continue to worship in bars and the streets together and pray for more of His Love and joy to be released here! Thank you guys for praying and being a part of this journey. See many of you soooo sooon!!!